[Podcast] The Jane Goe Epidemic

“At the time, I was recording [the videos] because I thought I was going to be recording my death; nobody was helping protect me, nobody was listening to me, and at least through videotaping what was going on, someone would be able to go back and watch these videos [to let] people know that they are not alone.” —Char, CKRET Foundation

If you feel you are in danger, please call the Hotline at 1−800−799−7233

After an incredible conversation with Courageous Fire regarding the effects of Non-Physical Domestic Abuse/Violence, we were amazed at both the similarities and differences in the experience of our latest guest, Char Kilsares. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, Domestic Abuse (or Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), domestic violence, or relationship abuse) is defined as "a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship." As we hear from Char, it was astounding to learn the lengths to which her partner attempted to exert control and power over—but sadly, as she has learned from over 100 Jane Goe's she has worked with, it is not uncommon.

Physical and sexual violence commonly leave signs making it easier to point to the abuse by the perpetrator. These acts are incredibly damaging to the 1 in 4 women (24.3%) and 1 in 7 men (13.8%) aged 18 and older in the United States who have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. But what about those experiencing the unseen and often unnoticed abuse—psychological, non-physical abuse? Nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively). (NDVH).

In our latest podcast, Char shares her story of overcoming non-physical domestic violence, her experiences with seeking help, the journey she has been on as a mother, and to provide hope and light to those experiencing the same. Char found the strength to post about her journey on YouTube, with the title "200 Days: The Jane Goe Epidemic", which she speaks of at length in the podcast. She references Day 21 in her walk; the corresponding video can be found here.

Char courageously uses her story and her walk to positively support and impact women through the CKRET Foundation. It is with this Foundation that she is working to empower other women as they walk their journey as victims of domestic violence. As a mirror to the plight of many Jane Goe's supported by CKRET, the organization Wider Opportunities For Women shares startling statistics regarding the economic repercussions of IPV. Key observations made from the IWPR 2018 survey, which can be found here, included:

  • More than eight in ten survivors (83%) said their abusers interfered with their ability to get and/or keep a job. As one woman put it, “I was not allowed to work for 12 years for more than an odd job here and there. I can’t even begin to start listing lost opportunities.”
  • Two-thirds reported that their abusive partners blocked them from finishing education or training by, among other tactics, denying access to money for school, monitoring or controlling their mobility, and/or using physical or sexual violence;
  • Roughly three-fourths (73%) stated that their abusers took money from them against their will, including paychecks, savings, or public benefits.

Concluding the findings, IWPR stated "The survey found that this services gap extended to economic aid. Six in ten respondents (61%) reported receiving some guidance in addressing financial problems caused by their abuser, but just 13 percent said they obtained all the help they needed." And this is where CKRET Foundation is attempting to bridge that gap.

Local Central Iowa resources can be found through the 24/7 number for victim resources through Children and Families of Iowa: 515-243-6147.

Incredible resources from local/national organizations can be found here:


Please consider listening in, joining in the conversation, and most importantly always remember, you are loved, you are needed, you are appreciated, and you should never feel like you have to walk alone!